Thursday, January 11, 2007

2006 Hotel California #1 Event of the Year


Ladies and gentleman. We've counted down an Honorable Mention and 9 other events in a terrific year that was 2006. And now the moment we've all been waiting for. The number one spot. Drum roll please.

#1 Our number 1 event occurred early in the 2006 year. Very early when I received this e-mail from Mr. Joe Hillman.

From: Joseph Hillman
Date: Sun, 8 Jan 2006 15:57:03 -0400
To: Jamie Webb
Conversation: And so it begins
Subject: RE: And so it begins
Jamie
I am one of the worst HC livers ever...sorry. I hope I didn't forget to tell you about the birth of my son.......Did I?
Here is the the info just in case
Mac Joseph Hillman born on the 9th of September
7lb 13oz, 20 inch
now at 4 months old 14 lb 5 oz 26 inch
Jamie I will be better at writting. I do always read the emails and laugh until I cry. Scott has moved to Vegas but is up in Utah every other week for his kids and to put with the EX (the freak) jk
I loved the X mas card. I still have my little hoes around so I can give them your pics.
Joe
ps Scott is sitting next to me and wants to know why he wasn't invited to Baja? Was it a Corona trip?

When I first read it, I felt really bad. I had missed a huge event in Joe and Kyra’s lives – the birth of their son. I felt terrible. I was working on changing the 2005 Top Ten List so I could let everyone know about the birth of Joe’s son. Languishing in my sorrow and scrambling for a solution, I re-read his email. And I thought, ‘Wait a minute.’ ‘Wait one cotton pickin’ minute.’ (That’s probably not politically correct anymore, sorry.) Look at the timing -- Jan. 8th. And look at the subject – “And so it begins.” Joe sent this email the day I posted the first installment of the 2005 Hotel California Top Ten. He didn’t want to let everyone about his son at all. He was lobbying to get on the list. He was pulling at my heartstrings, in hopes to get a spot on the list. Look at the manipulative way he was trying to butter me up to get a spot on the countdown, “…laugh until I cry…I loved the X mas card.”

Well, Joe, the cat’s out of the bag. You almost got me. But we’re onto you. And just for that. You don’t get the number one spot. Nope. Mac does. That’s right. It goes to Mac Joseph Hillman, who is now 17 months old. Because, I feel bad for the boy whose daddy was trying to use him to get a spot on the countdown. You should be ashamed of yourself. Employing your son for your own gain. I hope you’re not the kind of dad who sends his son to get sports stars’ autographs. “Hey, Mac! Come here. Don’t you want Karch Kiraly’s autograph? Take this volleyball and this marker and go stand over there. Go Go Go.” “Who daddy? I don’t want to go I’m scared.” “Go Go Go Mac. He’s your favorite. You can put it the living room and show all your friends.” I hope you’re not the kind of dad who takes credit for Mac’s athletic success. “And the MVP award for most outstanding player of the year goes to Mac Hillman.” “I’d like to accept this award for Mac today. I’m his father. When Mac was a boy he said dad, I want to be as good as you some day in volleyball. Well, Mac, win 5 more of these and you’re halfway there. Ha ha. Seriously though, I taught him everything he knows…” And this kind of me-first thinking was confirmed on June 13. Take a read below.

From: Joseph Hillman
Date: Tue, 13 Jun 2006 20:37:32 -0600
To: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Subject: Joe's 30th Birthday Party
COME TO JOE'S TURNING OLD PARTY!!!!!
We want everyone and anyone that can make it to come. Here's the details.
When: June 16th (this friday) @ 6:00pm
Where: Canyon Glen Park (up provo canyon) pavilion #2
What: BBQ we've got the hamburgers and hotdogs, please bring chips or drinks to share
Please come, there'll be good food and good fun!
Kyra

Look who the email went to? I mean turning 30 is a big deal and all, but, sorry Joe, I don’t think Nabrotzky is flying from Tennessee. I’m not so sure Poole or Teed can take Friday off and drive up from Arizona. Shane’s probably not dragging his (then) pregnant wife onto a plane from California. And the Pup, though it was the off-season and he’s not traveling with the BYU football team, is probably not making the 4-hour flight from Chicago.

So, Joe, you don’t get the spot. You’re son does. All joking aside, I love you Joe. Congrats on the birth of your son. He’s perfect. But honestly Joe, you’re married, why do you still have the hoes around? That’s it folks. #1 goes to Mac Hillman, son of Joe and Kyra. And here’s to a terrific 2007. Let’s stay in touch.

1 comment:

Cam said...

Joe, Congrats on the #1 spot at least it is still in the family right? Hope you are doing well.